So many memories of the past float through my mind
Even when I know there is not a pint of use in it to find.
It gets stuck in the wheel of yesterdays
Like a guinea pig on a wheel in the cage.
Wallowing in self pity and shame
The emotion of my past prevent my wings to get me faraway.
I create a future just like all the yesterdays
Just by reliving them again and again.
And then wonder why my life is just the same and
I get hit by bricks that comes with familiar name.
Why? I ask myself do you love to stay in the muck
Is reliving the known devil better than an unknown luck?
Is it better to suffer and shrivel than letting go?
Wake up! Let go of the film roles from the past.
Lets live in the present moment where everything feels right.
What ifs and I wish I hads are to be left behind
Lets only take the lesson and create a brighter tomorrow where
everything will be alright.
The day you entered the big big world
My motherhood was born too.
An important role I had to play
With no manuals or how too’s;
You became my sun around which my whole world revolved.
You laughter was the only thing I expected as a reward.
A love I never knew found its way into my heart.
To love unconditionally was what I was being taught.
My precious child, but I am not without faults
I have many weaknesses too which I need to work on without halt.
I fumbled, I have tried to do everything right.
So please forgive me for all the things I have not done well in your sight.
I came unto earth with a closed fist and a cry
Surrounded by strangers dressed in white
Lavished with love, praised and adored
Life was fun and I was eager to grow
Curiosity, enthusiasm, imagination and play
Filled every minute of the day.
Eager to grow up and to please those around
I morphed myself into as many avatars that I found
So that I could fit in and be accepted into the crowd.
I laughed when they laughed, cried when they cried
Even though it didn’t feel right inside
I dressed how they dressed bought things to impress
And waited to receive their accolades and praise
Slowly my true self withered away and
The light in my eyes turned a light shade of gray
Happiness seemed to be out of reach
Each time I was not being my real self.
Life felt like a big wide hole
Unfulfilled and cold as the north pole
Taking it no more the little child inside me found her way through my hearts door
Asking me to see her in the past when love was showered and I needn’t act
Be who you are that’s what the world wants to see
They don’t need a carbon copy of another celebrity
You’ve come with the talents unique to yourself
To carve your name in the world with your own hand print.
To share your goodies that only you can give.
And enjoy the journey by being yourself!
The real artist behind this glowing piece of work is S.L.Haldankar and the painting is titled ‘Glow of Hope’ even though there is a famous misconception that this work is that of Raja Ravi Varma.
There she stood bringing light into darkness
with a lamp shining equally as the flames;
All the labouring done in polishing it
had abrased her soft palms too.
Just as the light had dispelled the gloom
She held hope that her life too would see the light
and a glow of hope filled the room!