A lonely life I had chosen to live
On a mountain in recluse
Far away from the maddening crowd
Far away from the flawed mankind
They were selfish, arrogant and rude
In need of constant approval from the croods
Putting fake mask and pretending
Trying to act important and condescending
I hated them all so to say,
So I chose to stay far, far away.
One day my eyes caught my eyes on the mirror in front of me
I saw my SELF for the first time I felt
A being of light and love personified
Was the real me hiding inside.
Tears overflowed like rain on my cheeks
A joy exploded and I reached a new peak.
Then I saw that I was all-
Hatred and love, greed and generosity, pride and humbleness, war and peace
And that I had always the choice
To follow the path of fear or love
All along I had chosen fear
and so I had become a hater.
My eyes finally opened to the reality
I accepted myself as I was born to be
With all of lives duality.
A profound peace finally descended me
A blanket of love engulfed me.
I now walked down the hill
And embraced the first soul to my hearts fill.
For he was me and I was him with faults and imperfections
And it was finally okay with me.
I climbed along the stairs of life
Ticking on my to do list.
First came a job to fill my pocket with belongings
Second came a beautiful dame to fill my lonely hour’s longings.
Third came power to control and manipulate
and to get where I wanted to be was my only mandate.
I slogged, I strived by burning the midnight light.
I gave my time to reach the heights.
I crushed many lives and swallowed a lot of pride
to arrive where I wanted to be.
Ditched the feelings of others and
pointed out at the so called weak as sissies and made
them cringe inside.
One fine day all the items on my list was now ticked and I sighed,
I thought I would feel an euphoria that had never existed and a lot of pride.
But instead a hollowness from within seized me tight
And asked me is this all there is to this life?
In a world of opposites I am the feminine side,
Gentle and caring, emotional and the nurturing light.
I am not strong physically you think,
But my body is strong enough to bear triplets and twins!
As I am tender you think you can impose,
rules made by religion and laws to take control.
But the spirit inside me cannot be quelled by iron arms.
Like the roots of a tree though tender and thin
burrows through hard soil to find its nutrients
I will find a way into your logical heart with my tenderness and love
to make you realize we can coexists equally side by side.
Taking shallow breaths on the hospital bed,
the movie of my life runs through my head.
Of battles won and paths of temptations,
Of hatred and jealousy’s manifestations,
Of anger and fear spewed at situations.
Then comes memories of love at first sight,
Smile of my son which brought so much delight
Smell of my daughter’s shampooed hair,
the days of my motor cycling on the mountains without a care.
Simple pleasures which cannot be measured with money,
Makes me smile and my heart glow with its memories.
Then I realize the futile life I had lived,
Searching for “highs” that were short-lived.
If I had known that only memories I would take,
I would have strived on slowing down to smell the roses
and enjoy life’s simple joy for my heart’s sake!
I wanna fly across the sky,
Spread my wings and go up high,
feel the wind on my face and the clouds on my lips,
and keep flying for a very long distance.
I wanna walk as far as the horizon
Not knowing any destination
relax by taking all the beauty within
But keep walking without rooting in.
I wanna swim alongside the whales
Live like turtles to tell many tales
Be a fish with little fins
Without wondering- Do I fit in?
Because this human body feels like a tight glove
I feel like a caged bird caught from above
Boundaries created by good willed souls
To keep me safe and in their holds
Freedom only spoken in words
Makes this life miserable.
Let me fly, let me be free
Let me be who I was born to be
Don’t fence me in with your dogmas and ideals
And make me a moving talking machine
Let me live, let me shine
And follow my heart not thine
For that is when “Being Human” becomes a joy
So come on, join me let us rejoice!